I went to Chicago a few weeks ago as a guest of my dear friend Lisa Winans who was co-hosting a Verizon music event. Our "driver" picked us up at the airport. From that point on we were treated like royalty. The beautiful hotel..the doorman..bellhops..the room..my room..just for me..so uniquely for me..modern..clean lines in a beautifully restored old bldg. When I walked into the room, I know this sounds so cheesy, but I almost cried! Every detail was clearly thought out and my first thought was "I don't deserve this!" I laid down on the oh so comfortable bed and Knew how much God loved me in that moment..I didn't deserve it, but God's Love said Yes! ( also meant even more after the trip) The room was so bright and beautiful, like a canvas I could write on and start fresh!( This totally made sense after the trip BTW) We shopped and shopped ( new favorite store Akira Chicago) ate some amazing food and just enjoyed Chicago.
As I was waiting for my driver( I could SO be a diva) before the event Lisa was co-hosting, another car came for Mr. Sapp and that driver said he could take me now so I wouldn't have to wait for next car, but he would have to check with Mr. Sapp! Well by this time I know it's Marvin Sapp and I immediately say no no you go ahead and I'll wait. I honestly didn't want to put him in that awkward position and God just told me to just wait in the background ( can be difficult for me:-). Marvin Sapp and his manager came out from the restaurant and driver points to me and says something to Mr. Sapp and I'm wanting to truly not be there right then. ( feel like I'm about 10 years old) Marvin Sapp comes over to me and so graciously insists I ride with them. Now this is God, not because it's Marvin Sapp who is one of my all time Favorite Singers, worshipers and ministers, but because God just wanted to bless me and show me favor. We talked all the way in the car about worship and family! Now this is what is so God...I asked him what time in his life "Place of Worship" came from... won't go into full discussion, but change and worship were central theme. When we got to event Ps. Marvin said it was clear to him that God was taking me to the next level and not to be suprised at what God would do next! I'm thinking that's so great..little did I know what was ahead!
Okay, so fast forward..event was incredible...more divine appts..God so blessed me! Flight home was great! I did have to carry my own bags again ..ehh( told ya I was a divia) After Dino picked me up he wanted to go out to eat and talk. On the way to the restaurant he told me what was going on...restructuring..new season..changes..I'm out of a job...Not fun to hear..hurt...tears..BUT knew even in the midst of those first moments...God was saying, Trust me baby girl, It's Time! Sometimes God has to really just kick our butts and move us on and out! Something I would have taken longer to do.. And as each day goes by I know it IS His Timing. My Trust and Hope and everything I know..I just fling myself at His Feet and say I Trust You..I Trust You... That's what I say over and over.When there are rough moments and days, I sometimes have to reach over and hit the big TRUST button to remind myself! This is True for several areas in my life where I don't have answers... just passion....desire and TRUST. I want to include this section I wrote in my hotel room.."Amazing room almost brought me to tears..feel guilty..Can I instead view it as a gift from my Father who knows how much I love nice things. Can I receive this gift from Him and not be expecting "the bad news"? Can I instead believe He's preparing me for greater things?"
So here I am..at a place of a nowhere between 2 somewhere's. I'm living in between the Now and Not Yet! But God in His Goodness just loved me right into this season and reminds me daily of Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I put my TRUST." Also Psalm 56 :9 "By this I will know that God is for me...In God I trust; I will not be afraid."
Can I just say rereading this makes me want to edit half of it out..but God said leave it all in. Can I just say I don't like feeling like I'm 10 again and needing acceptance...But God said you are accepted no matter what you do or don't do...Can I just say I now have to live what I always teach.. let nothing define you except who God says you are ... Can I just say it feels really silly for me to put in the section about Marvin Sapp..but God said do it to remind people of His Favor and His attention to Details....Can I just say these are unchartered waters and there is apprehension and excitement all at the same time...Because His Timing is perfect, He prepares our hearts and those events around us to prepare us also. He knew what I needed on that trip. Famous folks don't impress me, but ministers of the Gospel who have the Word of God in their mouths and speak it.... still don't impress me, but it does BLESS me!! Oh yeah and sitting in the front row and center while Ps. Marvin sings "Never Would Have Made It"....God So knew what I would need! Trusting Him for this next Trip!
I'm Stronger,
Janna
Songs I've been listening to...will help to get you through..."Place of Worship" Marvin Sapp and " You Are For Me" Kari Jobe Also "Wrap Me In Your Arms" Freddy Rodriguez "Oh, How He Loves Us" New Breed - Generation:Love
"Peace and Favor Rest On Us" Kurt Carr
